








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 894 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Esplay | 42 matches | 1,873 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1650 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,790 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elofiten | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Alex-VAC | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | onedinkツ | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Pumba ツ | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | shalle | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elofiten | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Alex-VAC | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | onedinkツ | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Pumba ツ | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | shalle | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumba ツ | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | onedinkツ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Alex-VAC | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Elofiten | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | shalle | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onedinkツ | 155 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pumba ツ | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Alex-VAC | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elofiten | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | shalle | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicke2006 | +3.24 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | Alex-VAC | +0.52 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | shalle | +0.42 | 89 | 31 |
| #4 | onedinkツ | -1.20 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | Elofiten | -2.52 | 37 | 32 |





