










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,376 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 23% |
| Smokes | 712 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1311 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,172 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicke2006 | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | /ˈniːmɪk/ | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Pumba ツ | 46% | 185 |
| #4 | onedinkツ | 43% | 127 |
| #5 | shalle | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumba ツ | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | onedinkツ | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Pezzond | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | zutt$ esPortaler | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | lord business | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicke2006 | +7.03 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | /ˈniːmɪk/ | +4.04 | 63 | 38 |
| #3 | onedinkツ | +0.98 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | zutt$ esPortaler | +0.82 | 74 | 33 |
| #5 | Pumba ツ | +0.75 | 72 | 51 |





