








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1005 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Wingman | 189 matches | ||
| Esplay | 90 matches | 1,541 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8066 | 21% |
| Smokes | 10880 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9185 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9836 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,378,831 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOM | 51% | 151 |
| #2 | Ikea | 49% | 177 |
| #3 | Pezzond | 49% | 187 |
| #4 | Pumba ツ | 48% | 640 |
| #5 | Nicke2006 | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumba ツ | 78 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Pezzond | 45 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Ikea | 34 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | shalle | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | TOM | 13 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumba ツ | 542 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #2 | Pezzond | 465 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ikea | 332 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | TOM | 279 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Elofiten | 219 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicke2006 | +4.74 | 82 | 45 |
| #2 | onedinkツ | +1.65 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | shalle | +1.59 | 90 | 25 |
| #4 | zutt$ esPortaler | +0.99 | 73 | 37 |
| #5 | Pumba ツ | -0.62 | 71 | 48 |





