








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4767 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4445 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,558 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bernd Blubba | 51% | 83 |
| #7 | Behaartmed | 50% | 163 |
| #8 | InfernoCA | 50% | 228 |
| #9 | Arndtsedeensen | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | Cr AiiZi | 46% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FavE | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Doktor JiJlius | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ntouRage_ | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | nKs | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Behaartmed | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doktor JiJlius | 1362 | 0.24 | 37 min |
| #2 | nKs | 1097 | 0.28 | 32 min |
| #3 | FavE | 626 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #4 | ntouRage_ | 347 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | InfernoCA | 246 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FavE | +2.72 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | Doktor JiJlius | +1.97 | 71 | 79 |
| #3 | nKs | +1.89 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | Kiir | +0.65 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | ntouRage_ | +0.45 | 86 | 64 |





