








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3412 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2448 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3792 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,503 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | kvsseL | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | FavE | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | nKs | 52% | 156 |
| #5 | Kiir | 50% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Cr AiiZi | 45% | 73 |
| #11 | TobiasBoyGamer2011 | 43% | 40 |
| #12 | Godeater | 40% | 35 |
| #13 | Bernd Blubba | 38% | 71 |
| #14 | Arndtsedeensen | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiir | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Doktor JiJlius | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | nKs | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | u: | 5 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Behaartmed | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doktor JiJlius | 1013 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | nKs | 755 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #3 | Kiir | 516 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | FavE | 326 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | TobiasBoyGamer2011 | 218 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FavE | +3.43 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | u: | +2.95 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | nKs | +2.50 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | Doktor JiJlius | +1.88 | 69 | 80 |
| #5 | TobiasBoyGamer2011 | +1.71 | 79 | 70 |





