








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7455 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5286 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4688 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3147 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,532 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doktor JiJlius | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | Kiir | 55% | 129 |
| #3 | nKs | 54% | 263 |
| #4 | Behaartmed | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Bernd Blubba | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bernd Blubba | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | InfernoCA | 52% | 77 |
| #7 | kvsseL | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | ntouRage_ | 47% | 203 |
| #9 | Cr AiiZi | 47% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ntouRage_ | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Cr AiiZi | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Kiir | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | nKs | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | kvsseL | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nKs | 1188 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | ntouRage_ | 690 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | Doktor JiJlius | 339 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kiir | 283 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Cr AiiZi | 160 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FavE | +2.88 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | nKs | +1.81 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Doktor JiJlius | +0.94 | 69 | 78 |
| #4 | Kiir | +0.43 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | ntouRage_ | -0.09 | 86 | 65 |





