








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6786 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6749 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6300 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6948 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,429 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AteszTelibever | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | w4RG4 | 51% | 332 |
| #3 | Skip... | 49% | 196 |
| #4 | Flekkeny | 49% | 103 |
| #5 | globee | 45% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4RG4 | 29 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | globee | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Skip... | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Vuranusember29 | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | smrtrfszm | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4RG4 | 1063 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | Skip... | 587 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Flekkeny | 287 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Vuranusember29 | 276 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | globee | 263 | 0.08 | 6 min |





