








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3010 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2129 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4196 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3868 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,717 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 520 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norbert | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | StraYzie | 55% | 66 |
| #3 | Flekkeny | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | smrtrfszm | 47% | 57 |
| #5 | Skip... | 47% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Vuranusember29 | 45% | 159 |
| #9 | Riflahh | 45% | 168 |
| #10 | AteszTelibever | 43% | 56 |
| #11 | ☚ZsizsiØØØ☛ | 42% | 48 |
| #12 | Vazsi | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4RG4 | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Riflahh | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Skip... | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Flekkeny | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Vuranusember29 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skip... | 658 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | w4RG4 | 635 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Riflahh | 626 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | Flekkeny | 371 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Vuranusember29 | 272 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4RG4 | +1.88 | 79 | 81 |
| #2 | Riflahh | +1.48 | 76 | 77 |
| #3 | Skip... | +1.44 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Miccs | +0.67 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | globee | +0.01 | 75 | 59 |





