








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1012 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 858 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,382 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JZS | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | hyperia | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | Z1pher | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | Flame † | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | m1r | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 248 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Flame † | 165 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mountain Dew Baja Blast | 96 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | senamay | 86 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | byte | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | +3.76 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | KJS | +2.46 | 90 | 49 |
| #3 | hyperia | +2.04 | 92 | 52 |
| #4 | senamay | +0.42 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | Flame † | +0.20 | 76 | 64 |





