








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2092 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3554 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2469 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3356 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,567 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasbulla Jick | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | john pork | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | muph | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Teddy Westside | 57% | 83 |
| #5 | Skeggs | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Teddy Westside | 57% | 83 |
| #5 | Skeggs | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | JaN- | 53% | 34 |
| #7 | XaosV2 ツ | 51% | 35 |
| #8 | KJS | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | KJS | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | john pork | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Skeggs | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 416 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | XaosV2 ツ | 156 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | JaN- | 90 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | KJS | 70 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Skeggs | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasbulla Jick | +3.94 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | hyperia | +3.18 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | JaN- | +2.08 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | KJS | +1.87 | 86 | 38 |
| #5 | XaosV2 ツ | +1.62 | 83 | 60 |





