








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1578 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1609 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1368 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 970 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,917 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bungsby Twinkelstone | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | Burnie | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | stu | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Mike Oxmells-Grim | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | dawg | 59% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Log4n111 | 473 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | dawg | 453 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | MR-JACKPOT | 166 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bungsby Twinkelstone | 141 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | oil | 116 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR-JACKPOT | +3.62 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | dawg | +3.20 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | moray | +0.58 | 75 | 35 |
| #4 | Bungsby Twinkelstone | +0.40 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | Log4n111 | +0.28 | 77 | 52 |





