








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1697 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1502 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,453 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AzE | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | sLg|rAzEr | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | sLg|FiRE | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | sLg | Josh Homme | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | sLg|✪uestionmark | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Rantanplan | 38% | 26 |
| #16 | jul | 38% | 37 |
| #17 | Schriis | 36% | 22 |
| #18 | Diva | 28% | 29 |
| #19 | sLg|LucKeR | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobi4s | +5.49 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | sLg|Noumet | +4.67 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | mimas | +4.46 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | DKMNTL | +3.88 | 47 | 75 |
| #5 | sLg|rAzEr | +2.48 | 57 | 63 |





