










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4759 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3112 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2262 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,249 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joao tosta | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | Esguinaldo | 47% | 135 |
| #3 | Fineco | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | jmBdaddy | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | carl benson | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carl benson | 13 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Esguinaldo | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Fineco | 12 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | jmBdaddy | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | joao tosta | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esguinaldo | 352 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | joao tosta | 300 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Fineco | 207 | 0.39 | 5 min |
| #4 | carl benson | 184 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | jmBdaddy | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |





