








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1737 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 573 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,301 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joao tosta | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | carl benson | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | alberto cabedal | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | r0dry- | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | dote | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esguinaldo | 10 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | carl benson | 7 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | jmBdaddy | 7 | 0.0223 |
| #4 | alberto cabedal | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | joao tosta | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alberto cabedal | 232 | 0.42 | 7 min |
| #2 | joao tosta | 99 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Esguinaldo | 96 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | carl benson | 66 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Androxe | 55 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joao tosta | +2.75 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | 2tAM | +2.71 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | dote | +2.64 | 84 | 85 |
| #4 | alberto cabedal | +2.50 | 55 | 65 |
| #5 | Fineco | +1.24 | 83 | 69 |





