








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1047 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,886 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyRs | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | JustinTime | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | schrotthaufen | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Laura53Hugo | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Striep | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Striep | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | BEAR,VODKA,STALINGRAD | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | give kalash | 30% | 10 |
| #9 | TimdieRente | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laura53Hugo | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Striep | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | JustinTime | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | BEAR,VODKA,STALINGRAD | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laura53Hugo | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Striep | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | JustinTime | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | TimdieRente | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | BEAR,VODKA,STALINGRAD | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laura53Hugo | +3.85 | 88 | 45 |
| #2 | CyRs | +1.39 | 76 | 39 |
| #3 | schrotthaufen | +0.49 | 66 | 29 |
| #4 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | +0.30 | 63 | 36 |
| #5 | Striep | +0.09 | 72 | 50 |





