








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 29% |
| Smokes | 968 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1368 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1544 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,825 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kype | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Eugene Bandz | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | BEAR,VODKA,STALINGRAD | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Mülltonne | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Striep | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | MaseFlösen | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | schrotthaufen | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | JustinTime | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | TimdieRente | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kype | +4.10 | 88 | 46 |
| #2 | Mülltonne | +3.88 | 76 | 41 |
| #3 | Laura53Hugo | +2.97 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | Eugene Bandz | +1.37 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | schrotthaufen | +0.47 | 75 | 31 |





