








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1049 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1078 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 539 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,079 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TimdieRente | 48% | 50 |
| #12 | Supertoaster | 45% | 11 |
| #13 | CyRs | 43% | 30 |
| #14 | Striep | 41% | 49 |
| #15 | GEOX, der Schuh der drückt | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mülltonne | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Laura53Hugo | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | JustinTime | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | TimdieRente | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kype | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laura53Hugo | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | MaseFlösen | 87 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | caz1e | 85 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mülltonne | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kype | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caz1e | +3.97 | 80 | 34 |
| #2 | Laura53Hugo | +2.75 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | Kype | +2.69 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | Mülltonne | +2.67 | 72 | 44 |
| #5 | Eugene Bandz | +2.00 | 76 | 49 |





