








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1285 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6145 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2503 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 8451 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4701 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,007,976 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6007 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIIR | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | EvilL | 50% | 90 |
| #3 | doink | 50% | 209 |
| #4 | DumpsOne | 48% | 339 |
| #5 | Giossepi | 47% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giossepi | 41 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | DumpsOne | 38 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | FluxOnBud | 22 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Cockpuncher | 11 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giossepi | 416 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | DumpsOne | 342 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | FluxOnBud | 296 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | EvilL | 274 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | I'm chichy | 238 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVilL | +1.75 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | EvilL | +1.11 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | doink | +1.10 | 60 | 37 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | +0.98 | 80 | 33 |
| #5 | AIIR | +0.85 | 84 | 55 |





