








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1563 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3890 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3374 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,169 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | chimken | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | I'm chichy | 44% | 66 |
| #9 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | Cockpuncher | 42% | 62 |
| #11 | FluxOnBud | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVilL | 36 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | FluxOnBud | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | DumpsOne | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Cockpuncher | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVilL | 471 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | FluxOnBud | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | chimken | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | DumpsOne | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | I'm chichy | 53 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chimken | +3.21 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Medstinge | +2.61 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | JVilL | +2.09 | 77 | 41 |
| #4 | doink | +1.68 | 64 | 35 |
| #5 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | +1.13 | 82 | 29 |





