








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 850 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3418 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6277 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3434 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,207 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Medstinge | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | doink | 53% | 135 |
| #3 | AIIR | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | Cockpuncher | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | JVilL | 48% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | doink | 53% | 135 |
| #3 | AIIR | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | Cockpuncher | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | JVilL | 48% | 339 |
| #6 | Giossepi | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVilL | 25 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | AIIR | 15 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Medstinge | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | doink | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Cockpuncher | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVilL | 261 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | AIIR | 218 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | doink | 108 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Medstinge | 91 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Giossepi | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Medstinge | +3.36 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | AIIR | +1.46 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | JVilL | +1.29 | 75 | 36 |
| #4 | doink | +0.84 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | DumpsOne | -0.34 | 53 | 46 |





