








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 525 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 199 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5677 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5533 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4685 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4262 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,204,584 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 815 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coldsoup | 54% | 239 |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | 54% | 138 |
| #3 | AceVoltage | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 51% | 199 |
| #5 | davey | 51% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coldsoup | 54% | 239 |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | 54% | 138 |
| #3 | AceVoltage | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 51% | 199 |
| #5 | davey | 51% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | davey | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | coldsoup | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | AceVoltage | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | davey | 618 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | 565 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | coldsoup | 452 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 368 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | AceVoltage | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soup Jr. | +0.63 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | coldsoup | +0.49 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | Assemb1ly | +0.39 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | davey | +0.24 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | ru | -0.12 | 56 | 70 |





