










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4850 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4279 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4653 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4656 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,164 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceVoltage | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Soup Jr. | 55% | 117 |
| #3 | Assemb1ly | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | ru | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | coldsoup | 49% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceVoltage | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Soup Jr. | 55% | 117 |
| #3 | Assemb1ly | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | ru | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | coldsoup | 49% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assemb1ly | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Soup Jr. | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | AceVoltage | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ru | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | coldsoup | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ru | 492 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | 413 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | coldsoup | 308 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 222 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | AceVoltage | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assemb1ly | +0.47 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | ru | +0.10 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | davey | +0.09 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | +0.07 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | coldsoup | -0.40 | 54 | 54 |





