








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 706 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 922 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 966 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,656 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerstörung | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | Alchemy | 93% | 14 |
| #3 | homo"sapien"(gone prehistoric) | 93% | 14 |
| #4 | eXist | 91% | 11 |
| #5 | cosmic | 90% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meap | 12 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | AndyJ | 6 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | Zerstörung | 5 | 0.0195 |
| #4 | Rise | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | cosmic | 2 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyJ | 58 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | meap | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zerstörung | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rise | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | kita | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy shit it's freddy fazbear | +9.41 | 98 | 64 |
| #2 | Alchemy | +8.19 | 97 | 69 |
| #3 | scirocco | +7.82 | 98 | 69 |
| #4 | AndyJ | +4.03 | 88 | 69 |
| #5 | Rise | +4.03 | 94 | 70 |





