








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2200 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3302 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3923 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3409 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,326 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnap-π | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | hobi- | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Meddonski | 57% | 77 |
| #4 | F3roX_ | 50% | 170 |
| #5 | ¶®Ò ✪Muschel✪ | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕃𝟘𝔾𝔸ℕ | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | F3roX_ | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ¶®Ò ✪Muschel✪ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Schnap-π | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Energizer | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | 536 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #2 | F3roX_ | 307 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝕃𝟘𝔾𝔸ℕ | 298 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Energizer | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | hobi- | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | +4.15 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | hobi- | +1.17 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | F3roX_ | +0.50 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | Banana Joe | +0.31 | 41 | 64 |
| #5 | Schnap-π | +0.12 | 66 | 68 |





