








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 321 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4742 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6210 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3857 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6373 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,514 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | 49% | 39 |
| #2 | F3roX_ | 48% | 133 |
| #3 | Meddon | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Banana Joe | 44% | 97 |
| #5 | Energizer | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | 49% | 39 |
| #2 | F3roX_ | 48% | 133 |
| #3 | Meddon | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Banana Joe | 44% | 97 |
| #5 | Energizer | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F3roX_ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Banana Joe | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Meddon | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | 286 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #2 | Meddon | 269 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #3 | F3roX_ | 217 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Banana Joe | 118 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Energizer | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meddonski | +4.01 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Meddon | +3.51 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | F3roX_ | +0.93 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | Banana Joe | +0.37 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | Energizer | -0.44 | 51 | 70 |





