








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4348 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1831 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2580 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2268 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,487 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Joe | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Weeb_Peeker | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | Nico_S | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | Dionysos | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Smitty W. | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Weeb_Peeker | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | Nico_S | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | Dionysos | 49% | 79 |
| #5 | Smitty W. | 49% | 86 |
| #6 | horli | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nico_S | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Weeb_Peeker | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | horli | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Dionysos | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Smitty W. | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nico_S | 453 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Weeb_Peeker | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dionysos | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Smitty W. | 112 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | horli | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weeb_Peeker | +2.15 | 63 | 68 |
| #2 | Banana Joe | +0.84 | 53 | 62 |
| #3 | hobi- | +0.57 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Nico_S | +0.44 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Dionysos | -1.66 | 54 | 48 |





