








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5905 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8691 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6608 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7002 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,666,391 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 740 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vyzzen | 59% | 90 |
| #2 | ✪ Goliath Clash.gg | 51% | 377 |
| #3 | JiggleMyJax˘◡˘ | 51% | 330 |
| #4 | Happy | 51% | 572 |
| #5 | JeyP252 | 50% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Goliath Clash.gg | 37 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Happy | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | AnilAbi | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | zPrimez | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | JeyP252 | 10 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy | 2333 | 0.19 | 61 min |
| #2 | AnilAbi | 907 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | ✪ Goliath Clash.gg | 791 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #4 | butcher | 603 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | JeyP252 | 465 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeyP252 | +1.96 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | GurK1s H0nd | +1.57 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Happy | +0.93 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | vyzzen | +0.90 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | JiggleMyJax˘◡˘ | +0.47 | 83 | 35 |





