








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1420 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1598 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,837 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drinqz | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | srebbiT | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | tweem | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | MoR | 58% | 69 |
| #5 | jsr | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bountey | 47% | 32 |
| #9 | st_0r_ch-ch1na | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | Towby | 38% | 39 |
| #11 | Alles Spitze | 32% | 22 |
| #12 | YC | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoR | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | jsr | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | tweem | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Bountey | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Towby | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | 257 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | MoR | 164 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | tweem | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | srebbiT | 96 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | Towby | 91 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towby | +3.21 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Trudo | +2.68 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | srebbiT | +2.30 | 94 | 60 |
| #4 | jsr | +2.18 | 89 | 74 |
| #5 | drinqz | +1.10 | 79 | 43 |





