








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 557 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4197 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3991 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6235 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4616 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,018,514 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeepCS | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Fraser | 60% | 86 |
| #3 | ConfusedWitness | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Bot Dank | 53% | 230 |
| #5 | w4sted | 50% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ConfusedWitness | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Bot Dank | 53% | 230 |
| #5 | w4sted | 50% | 136 |
| #6 | hb. | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | Ferracity | 46% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4sted | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Bot Dank | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Ferracity | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | hb. | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Fraser | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4sted | 699 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Bot Dank | 444 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ferracity | 415 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Fraser | 117 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ConfusedWitness | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4sted | +2.55 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | Fraser | +0.75 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | めら DeezMiZzYツ | +0.38 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Bot Dank | +0.01 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | PeepCS | -1.08 | 77 | 46 |





