








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1699 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1754 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,005 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hooded Horror | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Spoodaloo | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | joeyyy | 67% | 55 |
| #4 | TetleyBroad | 66% | 38 |
| #5 | Ping | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Grog | 60% | 70 |
| #7 | Feathers McGraw | 58% | 101 |
| #8 | Enel | 57% | 67 |
| #9 | Bungus | 53% | 36 |
| #10 | The Armchair General | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bungus | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Feathers McGraw | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Hooded Horror | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | TetleyBroad | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Enel | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feathers McGraw | 460 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Enel | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | TetleyBroad | 120 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Grog | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | joeyyy | 86 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joeyyy | +5.40 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Ping | +4.29 | 91 | 73 |
| #3 | sto1ck | +2.55 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | Feathers McGraw | +1.08 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | TetleyBroad | +1.02 | 76 | 49 |





