








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3452 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2607 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,768,194 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirah | 55% | 143 |
| #2 | Fawkesie | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | ʚ♡ɞ Mr. Yung Prime Shopper | 53% | 219 |
| #4 | michael | 53% | 243 |
| #5 | M'bepis | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | michael | 53% | 243 |
| #5 | M'bepis | 53% | 40 |
| #6 | Smux | 51% | 146 |
| #7 | Epona | 50% | 228 |
| #8 | Khaz | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epona | 27 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ʚ♡ɞ Mr. Yung Prime Shopper | 24 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Smux | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Fawkesie | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | michael | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epona | 624 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Smux | 475 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | ʚ♡ɞ Mr. Yung Prime Shopper | 375 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | michael | 346 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | M'bepis | 172 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HubicPair^ | +2.43 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | michael | +1.48 | 92 | 44 |
| #3 | Smux | +0.40 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | M'bepis | +0.11 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Epona | -0.13 | 78 | 58 |





