








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4680 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4394 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3795 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3463 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,678,498 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SchN1ckzR | 60% | 75 |
| #2 | McPeace | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | -eZoo- | 57% | 117 |
| #4 | bach | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | kraundy.dll | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | McPeace | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | -eZoo- | 57% | 117 |
| #4 | bach | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | kraundy.dll | 53% | 59 |
| #6 | Zamnes1a | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SchN1ckzR | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | -eZoo- | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | bach | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Zamnes1a | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eZoo- | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | McPeace | 170 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | SchN1ckzR | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | bach | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | kraundy.dll | 97 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eZoo- | +1.65 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Zamnes1a | +1.14 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | bach | +1.00 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | M3ll0w | +0.90 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | SchN1ckzR | +0.90 | 81 | 70 |





