








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 670 | 14% |
| Smokes | 872 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2552 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,688 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0x | 32 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Wilfurd | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | g henny | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Haydo | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | +6.28 | 95 | 72 |
| #2 | 0x | +2.03 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | +0.37 | 76 | 39 |
| #4 | Haydo | -0.44 | 67 | 36 |
| #5 | g henny | -3.01 | 72 | 55 |





