








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 475 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3980 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7732 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 7403 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,086 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | 60% | 310 |
| #2 | g henny | 48% | 270 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 47% | 218 |
| #4 | Haydo | 36% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | 60% | 310 |
| #2 | g henny | 48% | 270 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 47% | 218 |
| #4 | Haydo | 36% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | 39 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | g henny | 29 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 26 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Haydo | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | 648 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | g henny | 227 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 109 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Haydo | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | +4.87 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | 0x | +1.47 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | +0.23 | 77 | 39 |
| #4 | Haydo | -0.36 | 66 | 38 |
| #5 | g henny | -2.75 | 73 | 55 |





