








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5104 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3404 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3009 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,730 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MogWorld | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | 0x | 60% | 310 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | g henny | 53% | 131 |
| #5 | Sora | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 0x | 60% | 310 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | g henny | 53% | 131 |
| #5 | Sora | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | Haydo | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0x | 34 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | g henny | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Sora | 8 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | Haydo | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0x | 378 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | g henny | 118 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sora | 110 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Haydo | 26 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilfurd | +5.04 | 92 | 71 |
| #2 | 0x | +0.48 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | ☯Chicken Joe☯ | -0.22 | 75 | 38 |
| #4 | Haydo | -1.01 | 63 | 37 |
| #5 | g henny | -2.73 | 67 | 49 |





