










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 642 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9262 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8240 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5454 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 9523 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,093,862 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You A QT ♡ | 60% | 63 |
| #2 | BeltFedBird | 58% | 211 |
| #3 | BOT Zohan | 58% | 121 |
| #4 | weirdhoney | 57% | 103 |
| #5 | Hugh Janus | 57% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Speedy | 53% | 80 |
| #9 | bmax | 52% | 42 |
| #10 | DnT | 49% | 117 |
| #11 | brinbran | 46% | 93 |
| #12 | KromaK | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neosavic | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | BeltFedBird | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | BOT Zohan | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | You A QT ♡ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Hugh Janus | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neosavic | 1015 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | Hugh Janus | 542 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | BeltFedBird | 484 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | weirdhoney | 364 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | BOT Zohan | 355 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You A QT ♡ | +1.94 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Hugh Janus | +1.81 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Neosavic | +1.52 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | BOT Zohan | +1.20 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | BeltFedBird | +1.17 | 67 | 54 |





