








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 989 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2325 | 11% |
| Smokes | 6263 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7232 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5114 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,885,925 of utility $305 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | Saalvo | 55% | 110 |
| #3 | Squilliam | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | borf | 51% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmoe | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | Saalvo | 55% | 110 |
| #3 | Squilliam | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | borf | 51% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squilliam | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | tmoe | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | borf | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Saalvo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squilliam | 633 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Saalvo | 524 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | tmoe | 376 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | borf | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saalvo | +1.59 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | Squilliam | +0.59 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | tmoe | +0.24 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | borf | -0.73 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | Mortem Angelus | -0.86 | 51 | 47 |





