








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 60 | 15% |
| Smokes | 23 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,028 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceai | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Deku^ | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | OppA | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | Gary? | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Griffin0g v.2 | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | NIEZRECKAGE | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Soma | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | THEjamnjelly | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | nik | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 9 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Soma | 5 | 0.0365 |
| #3 | nik | 4 | 0.0274 |
| #4 | OppA | 3 | 0.0297 |
| #5 | Deku^ | 3 | 0.0455 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | THEjamnjelly | 25 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gary? | 24 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Griffin0g v.2 | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Deku^ | 16 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary? | +4.27 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Griffin0g v.2 | +3.65 | 60 | 72 |
| #3 | fHizZ^ | +1.96 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | nik | +1.57 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | NIEZRECKAGE | +1.03 | 50 | 60 |





