








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Wingman | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4977 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3886 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6796 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6571 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,437,770 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albino | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | turkyburgr | 51% | 239 |
| #3 | Jingo | 50% | 685 |
| #4 | ran0ff | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | nootmurloc | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jingo | 50% | 685 |
| #4 | ran0ff | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | nootmurloc | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | LingLing | 37% | 108 |
| #7 | FatNeekHeadass | 33% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jingo | 67 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | turkyburgr | 46 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | LingLing | 35 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | ran0ff | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | FatNeekHeadass | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jingo | 861 | 0.07 | 24 min |
| #2 | turkyburgr | 670 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | ran0ff | 336 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | LingLing | 202 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Albino | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ran0ff | +4.03 | 63 | 78 |
| #2 | Jingo | +1.66 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | Safari | +0.75 | 25 | 57 |
| #4 | Albino | -0.93 | 34 | 39 |
| #5 | LingLing | -1.81 | 16 | 40 |





