










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 278 | 22% |
| Smokes | 314 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 402 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 266 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,361 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safari | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | turkyburgr | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Jingo | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | nootmurloc | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | LingLing | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safari | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | turkyburgr | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Jingo | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | nootmurloc | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | LingLing | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safari | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jingo | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | turkyburgr | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Safari | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jingo | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | turkyburgr | 22 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | LingLing | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | nootmurloc | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jingo | +1.98 | 42 | 52 |
| #2 | Safari | +1.41 | 24 | 60 |
| #3 | Albino | -1.02 | 34 | 36 |
| #4 | turkyburgr | -1.69 | 40 | 45 |
| #5 | LingLing | -2.80 | 9 | 46 |





