








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 18% |
| Smokes | 270 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,102 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Toffifeen | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | listeper | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | pant | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | knaldfis | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | awP1vert | 67% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | async | 64% | 47 |
| #7 | tehturner | 61% | 28 |
| #8 | KrasseR | 59% | 29 |
| #9 | Herget | 57% | 7 |
| #10 | WouFFeR | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | async | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | awP1vert | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | KrasseR | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tehturner | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awP1vert | 106 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | async | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | pant | 48 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | tehturner | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | KrasseR | 31 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramilade | +4.93 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | async | +2.78 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | tehturner | -0.68 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | knaldfis | -0.77 | 48 | 41 |
| #5 | pant | -1.77 | 38 | 76 |





