








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1948 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,396 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | listeper | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Ramilade | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | DingoBanana | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | knaldfis | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | WouFFeR | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | tehturner | 40% | 90 |
| #8 | pant | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | KrasseR | 34% | 121 |
| #10 | ✪ Toffifeen | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | Herget | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | async | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | DingoBanana | 4 | 0.0237 |
| #3 | Ramilade | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | KrasseR | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | tehturner | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | async | 152 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | tehturner | 149 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | KrasseR | 118 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | pant | 90 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ramilade | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingoBanana | +5.75 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | Ramilade | +5.72 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | async | +3.65 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | tehturner | -0.50 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | knaldfis | -1.09 | 52 | 44 |





