








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1065 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4851 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3637 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3897 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4620 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,560 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExpelliarmusV | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Severely Autistic | 50% | 276 |
| #3 | Ceez | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | Deadmeat | 45% | 117 |
| #5 | Beowulf878 | 41% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExpelliarmusV | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Severely Autistic | 50% | 276 |
| #3 | Ceez | 48% | 75 |
| #4 | Deadmeat | 45% | 117 |
| #5 | Beowulf878 | 41% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Severely Autistic | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Ceez | 19 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Beowulf878 | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Deadmeat | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Severely Autistic | 863 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Beowulf878 | 306 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ceez | 246 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Deadmeat | 172 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | ExpelliarmusV | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerMorse | +2.32 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | ExpelliarmusV | +1.28 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Severely Autistic | +0.38 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Beowulf878 | -1.04 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Ceez | -1.54 | 58 | 56 |





