








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2766 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2104 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2962 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,422 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | hambooga | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | kouhai | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | ava | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | Moopy | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Stx | 55% | 121 |
| #12 | puf | 52% | 21 |
| #13 | evelynrawr | 52% | 21 |
| #14 | davd | 51% | 41 |
| #15 | gadfly | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 13 | 0.0305 |
| #2 | Stx | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | beasley | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | evelynrawr | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | cutedog | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stx | 298 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | beasley | 253 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | toasty | 230 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | davd | 163 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | ava | 140 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kouhai | +5.58 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | cutedog | +5.58 | 90 | 65 |
| #3 | hambooga | +5.05 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | gadfly | +2.24 | 85 | 72 |
| #5 | ava | +2.12 | 79 | 62 |





