








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1418 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1216 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,451 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | æzi æzi æzi | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | Jester | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | de_DustIIn | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Magic Clicks | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | h0ax | 45% | 65 |
| #8 | Chuck | 44% | 48 |
| #9 | Curtis Crouse | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | RealUseful | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Steve Jobs Holder of Ligma | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 25 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | h0ax | 19 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Curtis Crouse | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Jester | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | æzi æzi æzi | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 313 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | de_DustIIn | 93 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jester | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chuck | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Curtis Crouse | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | +3.94 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | h0ax | +2.43 | 61 | 35 |
| #3 | Curtis Crouse | +2.05 | 63 | 31 |
| #4 | de_DustIIn | +1.44 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | Jester | +0.41 | 34 | 63 |





