








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 23% |
| Smokes | 900 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 970 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,467 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | not yall | 47% | 77 |
| #10 | kvinde elsker | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | Hemold | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | Firkantet skovsvamp | 31% | 26 |
| #13 | Tropisk #Wrocław #MrMakeItHappen | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vG` SettLSD | 4 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Firkantet skovsvamp | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Arnawas | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | kvinde elsker | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | N.N. | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not yall | 154 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hemold | 102 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | kvinde elsker | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | N.N. | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | あほ Fajfer | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skou | +2.45 | 90 | 41 |
| #2 | Hemold | +2.45 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | vG` SettLSD | +1.52 | 45 | 62 |
| #4 | N.N. | +1.51 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Bömpi | +1.31 | 55 | 61 |





