








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 22% |
| Smokes | 770 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,085 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skou | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Tropisk #Wrocław #MrMakeItHappen | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | not yall | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | kvinde elsker | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Da best | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Da best | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | MUXX | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | BøVzeN | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Hemold | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Firkantet skovsvamp | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BøVzeN | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Tropisk #Wrocław #MrMakeItHappen | 4 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Da best | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BøVzeN | 202 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | kvinde elsker | 76 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | not yall | 54 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Da best | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Firkantet skovsvamp | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skou | +4.17 | 88 | 44 |
| #2 | Hemold | +2.24 | 74 | 85 |
| #3 | Da best | +1.69 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | あほ Fajfer | +0.70 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | kvinde elsker | +0.19 | 64 | 66 |





