








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2773 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2945 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2657 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2708 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,178 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mira | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | Feb- | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | kenny | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | puf | 60% | 167 |
| #5 | f_ | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Stx | 57% | 120 |
| #8 | Moopy | 57% | 143 |
| #9 | chanj | 54% | 63 |
| #10 | kev | 51% | 41 |
| #11 | RoundCube | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NICKHALDEN | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Moopy | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | puf | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Stx | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | chanj | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NICKHALDEN | 759 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | puf | 729 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | Stx | 538 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | Moopy | 521 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | chanj | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feb- | +2.93 | 83 | 48 |
| #2 | davd | +2.34 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Stx | +1.16 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | mira | +0.94 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | NICKHALDEN | +0.40 | 79 | 63 |





