








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4589 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4782 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1817 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,014 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boodee | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | unsat uwu | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Katsu | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Katsu | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | bev | 49% | 119 |
| #7 | Aer1al | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bev | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | unsat uwu | 3 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Boodee | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 1 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | bev | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Aer1al | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | +1.13 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | Aer1al | +1.13 | 81 | 54 |
| #3 | endzo | +0.90 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | bev | +0.00 | 70 | 67 |
| #5 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | +0.00 | 50 | 48 |





