








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5316 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6193 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2809 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2526 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,260,778 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | endzo | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | osamazynladen | 52% | 60 |
| #3 | Dr. Mew Mogger MD | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | toeloose | 47% | 270 |
| #5 | the jitt of iran | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | viz | 44% | 55 |
| #7 | Thomas Lightbulb | 41% | 145 |
| #8 | The Creature | 40% | 90 |
| #9 | c1hhjjjjj77777 | 32% | 34 |
| #10 | XFFH167 | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toeloose | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Thomas Lightbulb | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | osamazynladen | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | c1hhjjjjj77777 | 8 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | the jitt of iran | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toeloose | 426 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | The Creature | 320 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | viz | 213 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dr. Mew Mogger MD | 125 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | endzo | 121 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | endzo | +2.03 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | 3-Fluorophenmetrazine | +1.38 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | c1hhjjjjj77777 | +0.72 | 43 | 30 |
| #4 | Dr. Mew Mogger MD | -0.05 | 72 | 48 |
| #5 | osamazynladen | -0.28 | 66 | 37 |





